I make Judge Judy look tame!

This post kind of goes hand in hand with my last one. In it, I talked about how we judge ourselves but what about others?

We all do it. Let's not even kid ourselves.

1. That woman at Walmart that looks like she swallowed a sumo wrestler? Yeah you probably think that she has horrible hygiene and eating habits, is lazy and does not care about herself.
2. The mom who juices and feeds her kids only organic? She's probably got more money than sense and needs to get a job.
3. The women with 4 kids from 4 different dads? She probably should have gotten her tubes tied after 2 and most likely is on food stamps and welfare. 
4. What about the mom who's kid is acting strange, does not understand personal space and is talking really loud and hyper? She must be a bad parent because my kids don't act that way.
5. There's the mom that is always late, disheveled, and never has everything she or her kids need. She obviously has no idea what she is doing and should stop causing problems for everyone else.

I could come up with scenarios for each of these that validate why they are the way they are. I could try to shame you info feeling bad that you judge people but I won't. I've been the person that is #4 and #5 and I know people have judged me before but guess what, I am just as bad as the rest of you.

Out there on the internet exists Mommy Wars. It's a community of women that are as cynical, judgmental, sarcastic and no-holds-barred as I am. It takes a tough skin to hang with these ladies as they will find a way to shatter any self esteem you might have had at one point if you decide to act like a potato. At the same time, I have seen these women come together and help out fellow members that really and truly needed assistance (often without the person knowing it was happening) and I am not talking about crappy GoFundMe's because you suck at taking care of money and priorities. There have been times when friends have peeked at my phone and seen a MW thread and asked why I would want to be part of that group.

Honestly, I don't know. Is it the camaraderie? Not really, I am not close to anyone in the group. Is it the humor? Possibly, some of these women deserve to be on the dirty version of Last Comic Standing.  Do you know what I really think it is as much as I hate to admit it?

Schadenfreude

 I think validating myself through the misfortune of others is the main reason I stick around. Having a crappy day? Why not go to MW and instantly feel better about myself? I bet that is a big reason many of the other women stick around too. When you are feeling bad about yourself one of the quickest ways to feel better is to put someone else down. It's not healthy, it's not positive, and instead of being a playground bully, our generation on a whole has taken the battle to social media. 

As I wrote before, women are always being judged. It's not feminist to say that, it's a fact. If a man works full time and then cooks, cleans and is an active participant in his children's lives it is rare or commendable that he is going above and beyond. As a woman, it is expected without question and to complain about it is being a crappy parent.

I do not think anything is going to change though until us as women are the ones to make the change. If we stopped judging each other and ourselves we would probably be a lot happier.