So we moved at the beginning of May and are STILL unpacking and trying to get the house in order. While this may seem crazy and that we are lazy, in our defense I see Patch maybe an hour a day 4-5 days a week and then have had a ton of stuff at the end of the school year for my son. School is out and we are finally getting used to my work schedule...... somewhat :-/ but right when things seem to start getting better I get told that Patch's father and step-mother are coming to visit Father's Day weekend and of course they are staying with us.
F.M.L.
So this past week has been nothing but unpacking, cleaning, moving what little furniture we had around and shopping for more furniture to make it look like we are not hobos. I am pretty proud of the progress we have made considering I was MIA all Friday night and Saturday being a dance mom, having the Thirty-One Product Premiere 1 hour and a half away Sat morning and then racing back for the Minion's recital. To add to the craziness, a co-worker was kind enough to cover my Friday night shift so I was not up from 11AM Friday - 1 AM Sunday without sleep. (That would NOT have been safe with the amount of driving I did) While this is totally awesome, I am now pulling a 60 hour week this week to make up for it.
I swear I will finally get to relax..... when I am dead. Lmao. Seriously though, its been crazy. The one good thing about working by yourself all night is that you can turn music up as loud as it can go and rock out to Taylor Swift's Bad Blood and dance around like an idiot. I try really hard not to think about the 20 ft of windows that I am in plain view of and I am fairly sure I am the most entertaining thing the local homeless people see all night.
As much as I want to complain about Patch's family coming, it's the kick in the pants we needed to go into high gear on this unpacking thing. I literally just unloaded 3 cubic feet of snacks on the break table at work because there is no room in our kitchen! Our living room finally looks like one, the minion's playroom is done, my craft room is somewhat in order and the kitchen is getting there! Today I plan to finish the Minion's room upstairs and Patch is going to get his office/guest room ready for them to crash in.
I am also hoping to find time to finish Patch's Father's Day gifts. They are fairly labor intensive but are going to look awesome. I will post photos once I get them done!!!
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Hours that kill
You never realize how important it is to have time until you no longer have it. Right now I am working 48 hours a week pulling 12+ hour shifts from 8PM - 8AM Tuesday night to Saturday morning. I constantly run on 5 hours of sleep if that and then have to flip to a
normal schedule on the weekend, going to sleep around 9:30AM Friday and
then getting up at about 2PM and awake until past midnight Saturday and
then having to again flip back to nights on Monday. This means that between having to sleep, getting my son to his after school activities and trying to keep some semblance of order at the house; there are not enough hours in the day.
Patch and I moved in together after over 5 years of being together and while we thought it would be nice to finally be together in one house, it has been the most challenging part of our relationship yet. I will be the first to admit that I have flaws... many of them. Some of these flaws manifest themselves in the way I take care of the house. Imagine this:
I come home from a day at work, my son just got home and I need to get him started on his homework. Once this is done I plan to get food out to thaw for dinner, run a load of laundry, and pay a bill I got in the mail that day. Now as soon as I pull the hamburger out to thaw on the counter, the dog is whining because she needs to go out.
Of course we cannot have a normal dog, no, we have a dog that requires babysitting when going to the bathroom so that takes 10 minutes. Once inside, my son says he is done with his homework but he took the easy way out. I circle the mistakes and make him fix them. At this point I KNOW I had something to do but for the life of me I cannot remember.
I know that Patch will be home soon so I make sure that I pick up anything I can visually see and start hanging laundry because I cannot leave it all over the bed. He gets his 30 minutes to an hour to relax while I worry about the minion and finishing folding laundry. At this point we start thinking about dinner but at this point the meat I set out is room temp and a risk for food poisoning because I forgot. That gets scrapped and we end up ordering in. Fast forward to the night, and I once again forgot to do laundry adding to the full hampers I already had. The bill did not get paid and if I am lucky I will remember before I get a late fee or whatever it is gets shut off.
Now, take that and add the crazy hours I work now... my brain cannot handle everything on a daily basis much less now. While I have problems juggling all this, I really feel for my family. My minion is constantly having to pay the price for something I have forgotten and Patch is forever picking up after me and picking up where I leave off. Sometimes I feel like there would have been less work if I had just left well enough alone in regards to some things.
Both of them have really been amazing. My son is so understanding when I cannot do something because of my schedule but I grow tired of always having to say no. Patch has so much on his plate already and then add in the dad duties and picking up my slack and it's honestly more than one person should have to do. I can see and hear myself every time I get overwhelmed and how I act towards him. I get so defensive instead of listening to the valid points that he brings up and I show the worst side of myself to him. While we have always gotten into fights over meaningless trivial things (what couple doesn't?) we have never fought as often or as bad as we do now. Add this to the fact that there is no where for us to go to our own respective places to cool off and most fights happen between him getting home from work and me going to work which means that I constantly go to work feeling like crap because of a fight I just got in.
Don't get me wrong, I like my job at AIT and I strongly believe in the company as a whole. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into here and we talked about it as a couple before I accepted the position but I was not prepared for the physical and emotional toll it has taken on myself and my family.
Patch and I moved in together after over 5 years of being together and while we thought it would be nice to finally be together in one house, it has been the most challenging part of our relationship yet. I will be the first to admit that I have flaws... many of them. Some of these flaws manifest themselves in the way I take care of the house. Imagine this:
I come home from a day at work, my son just got home and I need to get him started on his homework. Once this is done I plan to get food out to thaw for dinner, run a load of laundry, and pay a bill I got in the mail that day. Now as soon as I pull the hamburger out to thaw on the counter, the dog is whining because she needs to go out.
Of course we cannot have a normal dog, no, we have a dog that requires babysitting when going to the bathroom so that takes 10 minutes. Once inside, my son says he is done with his homework but he took the easy way out. I circle the mistakes and make him fix them. At this point I KNOW I had something to do but for the life of me I cannot remember.
I know that Patch will be home soon so I make sure that I pick up anything I can visually see and start hanging laundry because I cannot leave it all over the bed. He gets his 30 minutes to an hour to relax while I worry about the minion and finishing folding laundry. At this point we start thinking about dinner but at this point the meat I set out is room temp and a risk for food poisoning because I forgot. That gets scrapped and we end up ordering in. Fast forward to the night, and I once again forgot to do laundry adding to the full hampers I already had. The bill did not get paid and if I am lucky I will remember before I get a late fee or whatever it is gets shut off.
Now, take that and add the crazy hours I work now... my brain cannot handle everything on a daily basis much less now. While I have problems juggling all this, I really feel for my family. My minion is constantly having to pay the price for something I have forgotten and Patch is forever picking up after me and picking up where I leave off. Sometimes I feel like there would have been less work if I had just left well enough alone in regards to some things.
Both of them have really been amazing. My son is so understanding when I cannot do something because of my schedule but I grow tired of always having to say no. Patch has so much on his plate already and then add in the dad duties and picking up my slack and it's honestly more than one person should have to do. I can see and hear myself every time I get overwhelmed and how I act towards him. I get so defensive instead of listening to the valid points that he brings up and I show the worst side of myself to him. While we have always gotten into fights over meaningless trivial things (what couple doesn't?) we have never fought as often or as bad as we do now. Add this to the fact that there is no where for us to go to our own respective places to cool off and most fights happen between him getting home from work and me going to work which means that I constantly go to work feeling like crap because of a fight I just got in.
Don't get me wrong, I like my job at AIT and I strongly believe in the company as a whole. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into here and we talked about it as a couple before I accepted the position but I was not prepared for the physical and emotional toll it has taken on myself and my family.
Saturday, June 6, 2015
I make Judge Judy look tame!
This post kind of goes hand in hand with my last one. In it, I talked about how we judge ourselves but what about others?
We all do it. Let's not even kid ourselves.
1. That woman at Walmart that looks like she swallowed a sumo wrestler? Yeah you probably think that she has horrible hygiene and eating habits, is lazy and does not care about herself.
2. The mom who juices and feeds her kids only organic? She's probably got more money than sense and needs to get a job.
3. The women with 4 kids from 4 different dads? She probably should have gotten her tubes tied after 2 and most likely is on food stamps and welfare.
4. What about the mom who's kid is acting strange, does not understand personal space and is talking really loud and hyper? She must be a bad parent because my kids don't act that way.
5. There's the mom that is always late, disheveled, and never has everything she or her kids need. She obviously has no idea what she is doing and should stop causing problems for everyone else.
I could come up with scenarios for each of these that validate why they are the way they are. I could try to shame you info feeling bad that you judge people but I won't. I've been the person that is #4 and #5 and I know people have judged me before but guess what, I am just as bad as the rest of you.
Out there on the internet exists Mommy Wars. It's a community of women that are as cynical, judgmental, sarcastic and no-holds-barred as I am. It takes a tough skin to hang with these ladies as they will find a way to shatter any self esteem you might have had at one point if you decide to act like a potato. At the same time, I have seen these women come together and help out fellow members that really and truly needed assistance (often without the person knowing it was happening) and I am not talking about crappy GoFundMe's because you suck at taking care of money and priorities. There have been times when friends have peeked at my phone and seen a MW thread and asked why I would want to be part of that group.
Honestly, I don't know. Is it the camaraderie? Not really, I am not close to anyone in the group. Is it the humor? Possibly, some of these women deserve to be on the dirty version of Last Comic Standing. Do you know what I really think it is as much as I hate to admit it?
As I wrote before, women are always being judged. It's not feminist to say that, it's a fact. If a man works full time and then cooks, cleans and is an active participant in his children's lives it is rare or commendable that he is going above and beyond. As a woman, it is expected without question and to complain about it is being a crappy parent.
We all do it. Let's not even kid ourselves.
1. That woman at Walmart that looks like she swallowed a sumo wrestler? Yeah you probably think that she has horrible hygiene and eating habits, is lazy and does not care about herself.
2. The mom who juices and feeds her kids only organic? She's probably got more money than sense and needs to get a job.
3. The women with 4 kids from 4 different dads? She probably should have gotten her tubes tied after 2 and most likely is on food stamps and welfare.
4. What about the mom who's kid is acting strange, does not understand personal space and is talking really loud and hyper? She must be a bad parent because my kids don't act that way.
5. There's the mom that is always late, disheveled, and never has everything she or her kids need. She obviously has no idea what she is doing and should stop causing problems for everyone else.
I could come up with scenarios for each of these that validate why they are the way they are. I could try to shame you info feeling bad that you judge people but I won't. I've been the person that is #4 and #5 and I know people have judged me before but guess what, I am just as bad as the rest of you.
Out there on the internet exists Mommy Wars. It's a community of women that are as cynical, judgmental, sarcastic and no-holds-barred as I am. It takes a tough skin to hang with these ladies as they will find a way to shatter any self esteem you might have had at one point if you decide to act like a potato. At the same time, I have seen these women come together and help out fellow members that really and truly needed assistance (often without the person knowing it was happening) and I am not talking about crappy GoFundMe's because you suck at taking care of money and priorities. There have been times when friends have peeked at my phone and seen a MW thread and asked why I would want to be part of that group.
Honestly, I don't know. Is it the camaraderie? Not really, I am not close to anyone in the group. Is it the humor? Possibly, some of these women deserve to be on the dirty version of Last Comic Standing. Do you know what I really think it is as much as I hate to admit it?
Schadenfreude
I think validating myself through the misfortune of others is the main reason I stick around. Having a crappy day? Why not go to MW and instantly feel better about myself? I bet that is a big reason many of the other women stick around too. When you are feeling bad about yourself one of the quickest ways to feel better is to put someone else down. It's not healthy, it's not positive, and instead of being a playground bully, our generation on a whole has taken the battle to social media.
As I wrote before, women are always being judged. It's not feminist to say that, it's a fact. If a man works full time and then cooks, cleans and is an active participant in his children's lives it is rare or commendable that he is going above and beyond. As a woman, it is expected without question and to complain about it is being a crappy parent.
I do not think anything is going to change though until us as women are the ones to make the change. If we stopped judging each other and ourselves we would probably be a lot happier.
Friday, June 5, 2015
Do you judge me? I'd judge me
As mothers, we are judged and held to a higher standard. More often than not though, we are the ones doing the judging. I know I am personally my own worst critic, (unless you count Patch. He has me beat sometimes)
I compare myself to the stay at home moms with their perfectly packed school lunches and clothes that do not have a single wrinkle in them.I envy their talk of play dates and full social calendar both for them and their kids. How they are able to spend hours planning out coupon trips to to grocery store and how they cannot wait to have another baby to take care of at home.
I compare myself to the career moms, the ones that graduated at 23 and now at 30 - 40 have a stable job, good income, and a schedule that runs like clockwork. Sure they are on the go but they have people to step in where needed and make the clock work for them. As a mom at 19, I am often the youngest mother of my peers which makes it even weirder.
I compare myself to the Pintrest moms, those crafty wenches that are always showing off their newest creations and claiming that it was a piece of cake and that I should somehow have time to do all of this too.
I compare myself to the skinny moms. I've always been big but I know what it was like growing up with the big mom. It was embarrassing and I treated her far worse than she ever deserved because of that.
I compare myself to the parents with "normal" children. The parents who never have to be scared that no one will show up to their kids birthday party because they have no friends. The parents of the kids who just get along well with everyone and have great social skills. The ones who I constantly feel like I need to apologize to because my son is awkward, cannot read social cues and is normally so over the top people do not know what to do with him.
Hell, at this point I compare myself to the parents that are on time.
Every hour of every day I feel like I am failing. I feel like I am failing because its a rare day when my kid makes it to school in clothes that match with underwear and a matched pair of socks on. I am so busy juggling thing (badly) that trying to find time to plan a playdate and make sure the house is decent is almost impossible, not to mention there is only about 2 kids that even get along with my son enough to want to come over. I feel like I am failing when I look at cabinets of food to cook and still have no idea what to do without making something inedible.
I look at my student loans and feel like I am failing, knowing that I have years worth of high payments ahead in the hopes that my degree will finally make me worth more than $25,000 a year (I am so underpaid) I find myself getting fast food at least once a day because I am so busy, finding even an hour to spend in the kitchen is almost impossible.
I feel like I am failing every time my kid comes home crying because no one likes him or understands him. When my heart breaks because I know he is so brilliant that he is mentally years ahead of his peers but socially years behind. I feel like I am failing when then best answer I can give him is that I love him and it will get better.
I feel like I am failing Patch every time I forget to do something he asked or do it the way he asked. When my natural bullheadedness makes me show my ass and fight him on something just because I want to feel like I am right for once. I hate having to say "I forgot" because I know to him, it's an excuse and that's not a valid reason. I feel like I am failing because once you add in the memory issues with the ADD, it's like the 'Perfect Storm' of being a crappy parent/significant other
I feel like I am failing 80% out of every waking hour and I know that is not good. If I was less hard on myself, if I allowed myself to make mistakes, maybe I would not be so stressed. Maybe I would spend less time worrying about how I am going to screw up and more time focused on the tasks at hand. Maybe I could start getting ahead instead of constantly playing catchup.
Maybe we should stop being our own worst critic.
I compare myself to the stay at home moms with their perfectly packed school lunches and clothes that do not have a single wrinkle in them.I envy their talk of play dates and full social calendar both for them and their kids. How they are able to spend hours planning out coupon trips to to grocery store and how they cannot wait to have another baby to take care of at home.
I compare myself to the career moms, the ones that graduated at 23 and now at 30 - 40 have a stable job, good income, and a schedule that runs like clockwork. Sure they are on the go but they have people to step in where needed and make the clock work for them. As a mom at 19, I am often the youngest mother of my peers which makes it even weirder.
I compare myself to the Pintrest moms, those crafty wenches that are always showing off their newest creations and claiming that it was a piece of cake and that I should somehow have time to do all of this too.
I compare myself to the skinny moms. I've always been big but I know what it was like growing up with the big mom. It was embarrassing and I treated her far worse than she ever deserved because of that.
I compare myself to the parents with "normal" children. The parents who never have to be scared that no one will show up to their kids birthday party because they have no friends. The parents of the kids who just get along well with everyone and have great social skills. The ones who I constantly feel like I need to apologize to because my son is awkward, cannot read social cues and is normally so over the top people do not know what to do with him.
Hell, at this point I compare myself to the parents that are on time.
Every hour of every day I feel like I am failing. I feel like I am failing because its a rare day when my kid makes it to school in clothes that match with underwear and a matched pair of socks on. I am so busy juggling thing (badly) that trying to find time to plan a playdate and make sure the house is decent is almost impossible, not to mention there is only about 2 kids that even get along with my son enough to want to come over. I feel like I am failing when I look at cabinets of food to cook and still have no idea what to do without making something inedible.
I look at my student loans and feel like I am failing, knowing that I have years worth of high payments ahead in the hopes that my degree will finally make me worth more than $25,000 a year (I am so underpaid) I find myself getting fast food at least once a day because I am so busy, finding even an hour to spend in the kitchen is almost impossible.
I feel like I am failing every time my kid comes home crying because no one likes him or understands him. When my heart breaks because I know he is so brilliant that he is mentally years ahead of his peers but socially years behind. I feel like I am failing when then best answer I can give him is that I love him and it will get better.
I feel like I am failing Patch every time I forget to do something he asked or do it the way he asked. When my natural bullheadedness makes me show my ass and fight him on something just because I want to feel like I am right for once. I hate having to say "I forgot" because I know to him, it's an excuse and that's not a valid reason. I feel like I am failing because once you add in the memory issues with the ADD, it's like the 'Perfect Storm' of being a crappy parent/significant other
I feel like I am failing 80% out of every waking hour and I know that is not good. If I was less hard on myself, if I allowed myself to make mistakes, maybe I would not be so stressed. Maybe I would spend less time worrying about how I am going to screw up and more time focused on the tasks at hand. Maybe I could start getting ahead instead of constantly playing catchup.
Maybe we should stop being our own worst critic.
Thursday, June 4, 2015
The Story Thus Far..... (What I remember of it)
If you are going to follow my life, (It's really not all that interesting), you need to know where I came from. The easiest way I know to do this is a timeline, but I think it's less boring than a huge explanation.
1986 - Born in Texas
1987 - Adoption finalized to missionary parents, we move to Italy
1990 - We move back to Texas
1991-2004 - Public school, I am decidedly the weird kid that does not get along with kids her own age, has a really high IQ and not a ton of social skills. I spend a lot of time reading and being on the outskirts of social groups.
2004 - I am forced to attend a Christian private college...I do not belong. I think I forced the creation of several new rules.
- I start dating Jeff (who is a totally bad idea but screw my parents)
2005 - All help is cut off because I am stubborn and refuse to stop seeing Jeff
* St. Patrick's Day 2005 - I am in a massive car wreck. The "person" driving fell asleep while the car was on cruise control. I was asleep reclined in the front passenger seat. We hit 2 cars head on (one on my side, and one square dead on) then a 4ft ditch and a tree straight on, all while going 55 MPH. Because my seat was reclined, each time we hit something I went from prone forward until the seat belt caught me past 90 degrees and threw me back down. This cause my spine to snap like a whip.
When I wake up, I turn to see if Jeff is alright in the back and as I turn back around I start screaming in pain. Once I got cut out of the car (Jeff and the other person walked away) and got to the hospital, they discovered I had fractured my T-9 and T-10 vertebrae, ripped my tongue ring almost completely out, and had a slow brain bleed. This is of course not including the normal wear and tear from a wreck.Turns out there is no real treatment for any of this but watch, wait, and if it hurts don't do it.
After weeks of pain and being carried around by Jeff (no matter what, I will always be thankful for this) my back was healing and my tongue was almost back to normal but my brain was not. I'm not saying I was on the 'Memento' or '50 First Dates' level but it was fairly bad. On top of this my equilibrium was way off.
2006 - My minion (son) is born, from the moment he was born I was basically on my own. My family had cut ties and Jeff was not in the picture.
- My memory is spotty at best and I had to rely on routines to keep everything somewhat in check.
- I did put out of my apartment and then realized I left my son asleep in his carrier by the door inside. I quickly turn around and get him, the minion is of course asleep and unaware of my blunder. This is not a proud moment.
2008 - I am still unable to ride a bike without falling over due to equilibrium issues.
2009 - Moved to North Carolina, what was supposed to be a temporary stop on the way to Virginia turned into a permanent stay.
- I find myself introducing different groups of friends to each other, then being told I had done that weeks before. This is just a tiny example of the hundreds of things my memory issues affect.
2010 - Valentines Day weekend I meet my other half (Patch). (he does not see it at the time but I knew it)
- I am diagnosed with ADD, while always suspected as a child the diagnosis was never confirmed and no coping mechanisms or therapy was used growing up to manage it.
2011 - My son starts school - he is brilliant, almost too brilliant as he gets himself into trouble with his genius.
- His teacher finally convinces me to consider medication for his ADHD after 2 years of alternative methods, telling me he is physically shaking trying so hard to be still and gets so stressed out.
2012 - I am working in the I.T. Field from home and pull my son out of school the next year to homeschool.
- He gets through 2+ years of curriculum by May of 2013.
2013 - We move one town over to a new house and school, he has problems making friends but does well academically.
- After 2 years together, I still manage to drive Patch completely bonkers with my memory. It feels like an excuse but for me, "I forgot" is a valid reason for not doing something. I feel bad because I know how frustrating it must be for him, but it is even worse for me. I have an IQ of over 140 but I cannot remember what I ate 3 hours prior. My brain rebels against me every day.
2014 - 3rd grade is hell. He is having worse social issues than ever before. Academically he should skip a grade but is on the social level of those 2 years younger.
- We have him tested for any possible problems or concerns. Minion is diagnosed with ASD, lvl 1 for socio-emotional and obsessive behavior.
- This is highly debated between Patch and I. Patch grew up with ADHD and attributes the minion's social problems and other issues to the minion's ADHD while I strongly feel it is more than that.
- I start obsessively keeping a planner, it drives Patch insane with my decorations and scribbles but it helps to remind me of things that must be done.
- I get furloughed without pay from my job for over a month.
2015 - I lose my job altogether after a month back at work.
- After some convincing, I finally try to ride a bike again and succeed!
- We move back to the area & school where the minion went to kindergarten. We love the house and school.
- Patch and I finally move in together after more than 5 years.This is not as easy as it sounds.
- I start working at a new job at AIT - this job requires 12 hour shifts 4 days a week and to be able to see my family at all, I find myself working 8pm - 8am. The hours are rough but it works. I see my kid awake every day if only for a few minutes.
- Life is so crazy with the move, life, the job and everything else that I have stopped using my planner, this is bad as my memory problems have not gotten better in the past 5 or more years, I believe this might be as good as it gets
So there you go, my life in a relatively simple timeline but to me it is so much more complicated than that.
1986 - Born in Texas
1987 - Adoption finalized to missionary parents, we move to Italy
1990 - We move back to Texas
1991-2004 - Public school, I am decidedly the weird kid that does not get along with kids her own age, has a really high IQ and not a ton of social skills. I spend a lot of time reading and being on the outskirts of social groups.
2004 - I am forced to attend a Christian private college...I do not belong. I think I forced the creation of several new rules.
- I start dating Jeff (who is a totally bad idea but screw my parents)
2005 - All help is cut off because I am stubborn and refuse to stop seeing Jeff
* St. Patrick's Day 2005 - I am in a massive car wreck. The "person" driving fell asleep while the car was on cruise control. I was asleep reclined in the front passenger seat. We hit 2 cars head on (one on my side, and one square dead on) then a 4ft ditch and a tree straight on, all while going 55 MPH. Because my seat was reclined, each time we hit something I went from prone forward until the seat belt caught me past 90 degrees and threw me back down. This cause my spine to snap like a whip.
When I wake up, I turn to see if Jeff is alright in the back and as I turn back around I start screaming in pain. Once I got cut out of the car (Jeff and the other person walked away) and got to the hospital, they discovered I had fractured my T-9 and T-10 vertebrae, ripped my tongue ring almost completely out, and had a slow brain bleed. This is of course not including the normal wear and tear from a wreck.Turns out there is no real treatment for any of this but watch, wait, and if it hurts don't do it.
After weeks of pain and being carried around by Jeff (no matter what, I will always be thankful for this) my back was healing and my tongue was almost back to normal but my brain was not. I'm not saying I was on the 'Memento' or '50 First Dates' level but it was fairly bad. On top of this my equilibrium was way off.
2006 - My minion (son) is born, from the moment he was born I was basically on my own. My family had cut ties and Jeff was not in the picture.
- My memory is spotty at best and I had to rely on routines to keep everything somewhat in check.
- I did put out of my apartment and then realized I left my son asleep in his carrier by the door inside. I quickly turn around and get him, the minion is of course asleep and unaware of my blunder. This is not a proud moment.
2008 - I am still unable to ride a bike without falling over due to equilibrium issues.
2009 - Moved to North Carolina, what was supposed to be a temporary stop on the way to Virginia turned into a permanent stay.
- I find myself introducing different groups of friends to each other, then being told I had done that weeks before. This is just a tiny example of the hundreds of things my memory issues affect.
2010 - Valentines Day weekend I meet my other half (Patch). (he does not see it at the time but I knew it)
- I am diagnosed with ADD, while always suspected as a child the diagnosis was never confirmed and no coping mechanisms or therapy was used growing up to manage it.
2011 - My son starts school - he is brilliant, almost too brilliant as he gets himself into trouble with his genius.
- His teacher finally convinces me to consider medication for his ADHD after 2 years of alternative methods, telling me he is physically shaking trying so hard to be still and gets so stressed out.
2012 - I am working in the I.T. Field from home and pull my son out of school the next year to homeschool.
- He gets through 2+ years of curriculum by May of 2013.
2013 - We move one town over to a new house and school, he has problems making friends but does well academically.
- After 2 years together, I still manage to drive Patch completely bonkers with my memory. It feels like an excuse but for me, "I forgot" is a valid reason for not doing something. I feel bad because I know how frustrating it must be for him, but it is even worse for me. I have an IQ of over 140 but I cannot remember what I ate 3 hours prior. My brain rebels against me every day.
2014 - 3rd grade is hell. He is having worse social issues than ever before. Academically he should skip a grade but is on the social level of those 2 years younger.
- We have him tested for any possible problems or concerns. Minion is diagnosed with ASD, lvl 1 for socio-emotional and obsessive behavior.
- This is highly debated between Patch and I. Patch grew up with ADHD and attributes the minion's social problems and other issues to the minion's ADHD while I strongly feel it is more than that.
- I start obsessively keeping a planner, it drives Patch insane with my decorations and scribbles but it helps to remind me of things that must be done.
- I get furloughed without pay from my job for over a month.
2015 - I lose my job altogether after a month back at work.
- After some convincing, I finally try to ride a bike again and succeed!
- We move back to the area & school where the minion went to kindergarten. We love the house and school.
- Patch and I finally move in together after more than 5 years.This is not as easy as it sounds.
- I start working at a new job at AIT - this job requires 12 hour shifts 4 days a week and to be able to see my family at all, I find myself working 8pm - 8am. The hours are rough but it works. I see my kid awake every day if only for a few minutes.
- Life is so crazy with the move, life, the job and everything else that I have stopped using my planner, this is bad as my memory problems have not gotten better in the past 5 or more years, I believe this might be as good as it gets
So there you go, my life in a relatively simple timeline but to me it is so much more complicated than that.
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